So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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