You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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