Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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