She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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