32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
