kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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