is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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