and you said cock pushups were impossible
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
