So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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