Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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