We're like a lot better than the average bears
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My feet surprised me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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