you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My penis needs a shock collar
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
