I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
