Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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