AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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