not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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