I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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