i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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