i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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