just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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