I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
