Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
