Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
