He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
