he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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