So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
