you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
