oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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