Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
