We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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