Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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