Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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