I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
