Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
