singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
