Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
