is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
