Kareoke will never be a sober sport
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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