Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
