Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
