there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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