I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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