come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
jump out the window naked night went bad
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
