i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i think i have herpe
just one?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
