he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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