I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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