the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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