So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
