these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize