no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
