I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This toilet bowl is my home.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
