worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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