What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
