Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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