Rock
Scissors
Fuck
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
