covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the condom got lost in my hair
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
