youre lurking in front of me
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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