How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
