I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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