keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
