the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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