he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
