she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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