My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
