we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
