my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
