can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
