Your mouth is God's brothel.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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