Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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